- Oct 15, 2024
Is Giving Money as a Birthday Gift Appropriate? Complete Etiquette Guide 2025
- Why Do People Give Gifts? The Science Behind It
- When Is Giving Money as a Birthday Gift OK?
- When You Should NOT Give Money
- How Much Money Should You Give?
- How to Make Money Gifts More Thoughtful
- Better Alternatives When Money Doesn't Feel Right
- Creative Ways to Give Money
- Best Practices Based on Research
- Important Notes for Larger Gifts
- The Bottom Line
Choosing the perfect birthday gift is tough. You might wonder: should you give money as a birthday gift? Some people think cash is practical and helpful. Others worry it seems lazy or thoughtless.
Here's the truth: giving money as a birthday present can be perfectly fine. It just depends on your relationship with the person, their culture, and what they prefer.
Recent research from Tilburg University shows something interesting. People usually think money gifts are less thoughtful than regular gifts of the same value. But this changes when you give money in a thoughtful way that has cultural meaning.
Why Do People Give Gifts? The Science Behind It
1. Gift-Giving Is Universal
Scientists who study human behavior say gift-giving happens in every culture around the world. Research in the Journal of Consumer Research explains that gifts do more than just transfer stuff from one person to another. They help build and keep relationships strong.
Stanford researcher Krish Seetah writes in Scientific American that "gifting is an expression of fairness" and "shows a willingness to honor the other person." In simple terms, gifts show respect and care.
2. What Research Says About Money Gifts
Scientists at Yale School of Management discovered something surprising. Gift givers usually want to give pretty or fancy things. But people receiving gifts often prefer useful, practical items. This explains why money gifts can feel weird sometimes. The giver might think "this seems boring," while the receiver thinks "this is exactly what I needed!"
When Is Giving Money as a Birthday Gift OK?
1. Close Family Members
Money gifts work well for family. This is especially true when someone needs help with something specific or is going through big life changes.
Smart ways to give money to family:
- Use clean, new bills in nice packaging
- Write a heartfelt card explaining why you chose money
- Think about what they're saving for or need right now
2. Kids and Teenagers
Research shows that children and teens actually love getting money. Why? Because it gives them freedom to choose what they want. It also helps them learn about making decisions with money.
Think about it from their perspective: kids and teens often have very specific wants that adults might not understand or know about. Maybe they're saving for a particular video game, want to buy art supplies for a hobby, or dream of getting something their friends have.
Money lets them make these choices themselves. It also teaches valuable life skills like budgeting, comparing prices, and deciding between wants and needs. For younger kids, receiving money feels grown-up and important. For teenagers, it respects their growing independence and shows you trust their judgment. Unlike adults who might prefer sentimental gifts, young people are often more practical and excited about having purchasing power.
3. Understanding Vietnamese Culture
Research from the Open Encyclopedia of Anthropology shows that "gift rules change from culture to culture." What's normal in one place might be strange in another.
In Vietnam, giving lì xì (lucky money in red envelopes) is a beautiful tradition, especially during Tết. Traditional amounts range from 20,000 - 100,000 VND for children to 200,000 - 500,000 VND ($8-20) for closer relationships. The blessing matters more than the amount.
Traditional Vietnamese lì xì (lucky money) exchange during Tết demonstrates how cultural presentation transforms simple money into meaningful blessings. Photo by Bach Nguyen on Unsplash
When You Should NOT Give Money
1. Romantic Relationships
Research suggests money gifts in romantic relationships can feel like a business deal instead of love. Personal, thoughtful gifts usually work better for boyfriends, girlfriends, or spouses.
The reason is simple:
When you're in love, you want your partner to show they really know you. A carefully chosen gift says "I pay attention to what makes you happy." Money, even a large amount, can accidentally send the message "I didn't have time to think about what you'd actually want." Instead, romantic partners usually prefer gifts that create memories together or show personal understanding of their interests and dreams.
In romantic relationships, thoughtful gifts that show personal care and attention create stronger emotional connections than monetary presents.
2. Colleagues
At work, non-money gifts are usually better. They help build friendships instead of making things feel like a business transaction.
The workplace already involves money, salaries, and professional exchanges all day long. Adding money gifts can blur the line between personal friendship and work relationships. Small, thoughtful gifts work better because they show you see your colleague as a person, not just a coworker.
Workplace birthday celebrations with thoughtful gifts like cake and small presents help build genuine friendships among colleagues.
Think of things like their favorite snacks, a nice coffee mug, or something related to their hobbies. These gifts say "I notice what you like" rather than "here's some cash." Plus, many workplaces have rules about money gifts that could make things awkward or even get people in trouble.
How Much Money Should You Give?
The amount depends on two things: your relationship with the person and how much you can afford. Research shows that being thoughtful matters more than the exact amount.
Simple Guidelines:
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Close family: 1,800,000 - 3,600,000+ VND ($75-150+)
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Extended family: 750,000 - 1,800,000 VND ($30-75)
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Close friends: 600,000 - 1,200,000 VND ($25-50)
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Acquaintances: 360,000 - 600,000 VND ($15-25)
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Children: 500,000 - 1,200,000 VND ($20-50)
How to Make Money Gifts More Thoughtful
1. What Science Says About Presentation
Tilburg University research found something important. When people gave money in special gift cards or envelopes, receivers were much happier and more grateful than when they got plain cash.
This happens because our brains treat packaged money differently than loose bills. When money comes in a beautiful envelope or special card, it feels more like a "real gift" and less like a payment or transaction.
Beautiful presentation transforms ordinary money into thoughtful gifts.
The packaging shows extra effort and thought. It transforms ordinary money into something that feels more personal and caring. Think about it: receiving 500,000 VND in a crumpled envelope feels very different from getting the same amount in a beautifully decorated red envelope with your name written on it. The money value is identical, but the emotional impact is completely different.
The research proved that people felt more grateful not because of the money amount, but because of how it was presented. This is why traditional practices like Vietnamese lì xì use special red envelopes - the presentation is just as important as what's inside.
You can also put money inside beautiful birthday postcards or greeting cards, like the artistic handmade cards available at Chus.vn, which add a personal touch while keeping the practical benefit of cash gifts.
Cultural Meanings Matter
The same research showed that in Chinese culture, giving 520 yuan (which sounds like "I love you" in Chinese) made people much happier than giving random amounts.
In Vietnam, certain numbers bring good luck. Amounts like 666,000 VND, 888,000 VND ($27-36), or 999,000 VND are popular for lì xì because numbers 6, 8, and 9 symbolize good fortune.
Better Alternatives When Money Doesn't Feel Right
Sometimes a personal gift feels more appropriate. Research supports giving personalized gifts that show you know what the person likes.
Great Alternatives from Chus.vn:
- Custom items with their name: Shows you put thought into it
- Experience gifts: Creates memories instead of just giving stuff
- Handmade items: Supports local artists and feels unique
- Hobby-related gifts: Shows you pay attention to their interests
Creative Ways to Give Money
Research shows that how you present a gift changes how people feel about it:
- Use themed containers: Make it match their interests or the occasion
- Add a specific purpose: "For your new guitar fund" or "Toward your vacation"
- Include cultural touches: Use traditional colors or symbols
- Write a personal note: Explain why you chose to give money
Best Practices Based on Research
✅ Do These Things:
- Think about their cultural background
- Present money in a thoughtful way
- Match the amount to your relationship
- Add personal touches that show you care
❌ Avoid These Mistakes:
- Giving plain cash without any thought
- Spending more than you can afford
- Giving money to romantic partners
- Ignoring cultural rules about money
Important Notes for Larger Gifts
According to EBSCO Research Starters, you should understand local rules for big money gifts. In Vietnam, normal birthday amounts (under 10,000,000 VND or $400) usually don't have special requirements. But for very large amounts, it's smart to check current local guidelines.
The Bottom Line
Research proves that giving money as a birthday gift can be meaningful and appropriate when done thoughtfully. Scientists who study human behavior show that gift exchange "builds and maintains relationships" and connects people across different cultures.
The key is simple: successful gift-giving (whether money or something else) is about showing care, respect, and cultural awareness. When you give money with thought and cultural understanding, it can be just as meaningful as any personal gift.
If you decide that a personalized gift feels better, check out Chus.vn's collection of customizable presents. These show cultural sensitivity and personal thoughtfulness. Whether you choose money or a custom gift, what matters most is showing that you understand and care about the person's preferences, culture, and values.
Want to find the perfect personalized birthday gift? Browse Chus.vn's unique, customizable presents that create lasting memories and show how much you care.
