Is Giving Money as a Birthday Gift Appropriate? Complete Etiquette Guide 2025

Choosing the perfect birthday gift is tough. You might wonder: should you give money as a birthday gift? Some people think cash is practical and helpful. Others worry it seems lazy or thoughtless.

Here's the truth: giving money as a birthday present can be perfectly fine. It just depends on your relationship with the person, their culture, and what they prefer.

Recent research from Tilburg University shows something interesting. People usually think money gifts are less thoughtful than regular gifts of the same value. But this changes when you give money in a thoughtful way that has cultural meaning.

Why Do People Give Gifts? The Science Behind It

1. Gift-Giving is universal

Scientists who study human behavior state that gift-giving is a practice observed in every culture worldwide. Research published in the Journal of Consumer Research explains that gifts serve a purpose beyond merely transferring items from one person to another; they are instrumental in building and maintaining strong relationships.

Stanford researcher Krish Seetah writes in Scientific American that "gifting is an expression of fairness" and "shows a willingness to honor the other person." In simple terms, gifts show respect and care.

Thoughtful gift presentation shows care and respect - a universal tradition across all cultures.

2. What research says about money gifts

Scientists at Yale School of Management discovered something surprising: Gift-givers usually want to give pretty or fancy things, but people receiving gifts often prefer useful, practical items. This explains why monetary gifts can sometimes feel awkward. The giver might think, "This seems boring," while the receiver thinks, "This is exactly what I needed!"

When Is Giving Money as a Birthday Gift OK?

1. Close family members

Giving money can be a great option for family, particularly when they're saving up for something special or going through major life transitions.

Smart ways to give money to family:

• Present it with fresh, new bills in a nice package.
• Write a warm, personal card explaining your thoughtful decision.
• Consider their current financial goals or immediate needs.

2. Kids and Teenagers

Research shows that children and teens actually love receiving money. Why? Because it gives them the freedom to choose what they want. It also helps them learn about making financial decisions.

Consider it from their perspective: kids and teens often have very specific wants that adults might not understand or even be aware of. Perhaps they're saving for a particular video game, want to buy art supplies for a hobby, or dream of getting something their friends have.

Money allows them to make these choices themselves. It also teaches valuable life skills such as budgeting, comparing prices, and distinguishing between wants and needs. For younger children, receiving money feels grown-up and important. For teenagers, it respects their growing independence and demonstrates trust in their judgment. Unlike adults who might prefer sentimental gifts, young people are often more practical and excited about having purchasing power.

3. Understanding Vietnamese culture

Research from the Open Encyclopedia of Anthropology reveals that "gift rules change from culture to culture." What's considered normal in one place might be perceived as strange in another.

In Vietnam, giving lì xì (lucky money in red envelopes) is a beautiful tradition, especially during Tết. This practice shows how money gifts can carry deep cultural meaning beyond their dollar value.

Traditional Vietnamese lì xì (lucky money) exchange during Tết demonstrates how cultural presentation transforms simple money into meaningful blessings. Photo by Bach Nguyen on Unsplash

Vietnamese Lucky Number Meanings:

• Number 8: Sounds like "phát" (prosperity/wealth) - Popular amounts: 88,000, 188,000, 888,000 VND

• Number 6: Represents smooth life and business success

• Number 9: Symbolizes longevity and lasting happiness

• Even numbers: Better than odd numbers (represent completeness and balance)

• Avoid number 4: Sounds like "death" in Vietnamese

Traditional Vietnamese Gift Amounts:

• Children: 20,000 - 100,000 VND

• Close relationships: 200,000 - 500,000 VND ($8-20)

• Lucky combinations: 200,000, 500,000, 666,000, 999,000, or 1,888,000 VND

Vietnamese Gift Etiquette:

• Give money in clean, new bills (old money seems disrespectful)

• Use red envelopes or beautiful cards

• Receiver accepts with both hands and says thank you

• Never open the envelope in front of the giver

• The blessing matters more than the amount

When You Should NOT Give Money

1. Romantic relationships

Research suggests that money as a gift in romantic relationships can feel more like a business transaction than an expression of love. Instead, personal, thoughtful gifts are usually more effective for boyfriends, girlfriends, or spouses.

The reason is simple:

When you're in love, you want your partner to show they truly know you. A carefully chosen gift communicates, "I pay attention to what makes you happy." Money, even a substantial amount, can unintentionally send the message, "I didn't have time to consider what you'd genuinely want." Romantic partners typically prefer gifts that create shared memories or demonstrate a personal understanding of their interests and dreams.

In romantic relationships, thoughtful gifts that show personal care and attention create stronger emotional connections than monetary presents.

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2. Colleagues

When it comes to the workplace, non-monetary gifts are generally more effective and appropriate. They foster genuine friendships and connections rather than making interactions feel like mere business transactions. 

The professional environment is already steeped in financial exchanges, salaries, and contractual agreements. Introducing monetary gifts can blur the crucial line between personal friendships and professional relationships. Instead, small, thoughtful gifts are more impactful because they demonstrate that you value your colleague as an individual, not just a coworker.

Workplace birthday celebrations with thoughtful gifts like cake and small presents help build genuine friendships among colleagues.

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Consider items such as their favorite snacks, a high-quality coffee mug, or something related to their hobbies. These types of gifts convey a personal touch, signaling, "I pay attention to your preferences," rather than simply, "here's some cash." Furthermore, many workplaces have strict policies regarding monetary gifts, which could lead to awkward situations or even disciplinary action.

How Much Money Should You Give?

The amount depends on two things: your relationship with the person and how much you can afford. Research shows that being thoughtful matters more than the exact amount.

Simple guidelines:

• Close family: 1,800,000 - 3,600,000+ VND ($75-150+)

• Extended family: 750,000 - 1,800,000 VND ($30-75)

• Close friends: 600,000 - 1,200,000 VND ($25-50)

• Acquaintances: 360,000 - 600,000 VND ($15-25)

• Children: 500,000 - 1,200,000 VND ($20-50)

How to Make Money Gifts More Thoughtful

1. What science says about presentation

Tilburg University research made an important discovery: When people received money in special gift cards or envelopes, they reported feeling much happier and more grateful compared to receiving plain cash.

This phenomenon occurs because our brains process packaged money differently than loose bills. When money is presented in a beautiful envelope or a special card, it feels more like a "real gift" and less like a mere payment or transaction.

Beautiful presentation transforms ordinary money into thoughtful gifts.

The packaging itself demonstrates extra effort and thoughtfulness. It transforms ordinary money into something that feels more personal and caring. Consider the difference: receiving 500,000 VND in a crumpled envelope feels vastly different from getting the same amount in a beautifully decorated red envelope with your name inscribed on it. While the monetary value is identical, the emotional impact is profoundly different.

The research conclusively showed that people's gratitude stemmed not from the amount of money, but from its presentation. This explains why traditional practices, such as Vietnamese lì xì, utilize special red envelopes—the presentation is as crucial as the contents.

You can also place money inside beautiful birthday postcards or greeting cards, like the artistic handmade cards available at Chus.vn, which add a personal touch while retaining the practical benefit of a cash gift.

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2. Creative ways to give money:

Research indicates that the presentation of a gift can significantly alter how people perceive it. If you do choose to give money, here are some creative ways to make it more personal:

• Use themed containers: Match the container to their interests or the occasion.

• Add a specific purpose: Examples include, "For your new guitar fund" or "Toward your vacation."

• Include cultural touches: Incorporate traditional colors or symbols to add a meaningful layer.

• Write a personal note: Explain your reasons for choosing to give money.

Better Alternatives When Money Doesn't Feel Right

Sometimes a personal gift feels more appropriate. Research supports giving personalized gifts that show you know what the person likes.

• Custom items with their name: These demonstrate you put thought into the gift.

• Experience gifts: These create lasting memories instead of just adding more "stuff."

• Handmade items: These support local artists and offer something truly unique.

• Hobby-related gifts: These show you pay attention to the recipient's interests.

Best Practices for Gifting Money

1. Do these: 

• Consider their cultural background: Different cultures have varying customs around gifting money.

• Present money thoughtfully: Avoid simply handing over plain cash. Consider an envelope, a card, or a small gift box.

• Match the amount to your relationship: The amount should reflect your closeness to the recipient.

• Add personal touches: A heartfelt note or a small accompanying gift can show you care. 

2. Avoid These:

• Giving plain cash without thought: This can come across as impersonal or lazy.

• Spending more than you can afford: Never put yourself in a difficult financial position to give a gift.

• Giving money to romantic partners: In many contexts, this can complicate the relationship or be misinterpreted.

• Ignoring cultural rules about money: Be mindful of customs to avoid unintentional offense.

Important Notes for Vietnamese Context

According to EBSCO Research Starters, you should understand local rules for big money gifts. In Vietnam, normal birthday amounts (under 10,000,000 VND or $400) usually don't have special requirements. But for very large amounts, it's smart to check current local guidelines.

Additional Vietnamese Guidelines:

• Money gifts are most common for children and close family members

• For workplace birthdays, contributing to a group gift fund is more appropriate than individual money gifts

• During special occasions like graduations or weddings, money gifts are often expected and appreciated

• For casual birthday parties among friends, bringing a small thoughtful gift shows better social awareness

The Bottom Line

Research consistently shows that a monetary birthday gift can be both meaningful and appropriate when given thoughtfully. Behavioral scientists highlight that gift exchange, in essence, "builds and maintains relationships" and fosters connections across diverse cultures.

The core principle is straightforward: successful gift-giving, regardless of whether it's money or another item, hinges on demonstrating care, respect, and cultural awareness. When you present money with consideration and cultural understanding, it can resonate just as deeply as any personalized present.

If you ultimately prefer a personalized gift, consider exploring Chus.vn's array of customizable options. These selections are designed to convey both cultural sensitivity and personal thoughtfulness. Whether your choice is money or a custom gift, the most crucial element remains your ability to show that you understand and value the recipient's preferences, culture, and personal values.

FAQs

• Is it rude to give money as a birthday gift?
  No, giving money is not inherently rude if done thoughtfully and appropriately based on your relationship with the recipient.
• What numbers should I avoid when giving money in Vietnam?
  Avoid amounts with the number 4 (sounds like "death"). Choose lucky numbers like 6, 8, 9, or even amounts like 200,000, 500,000, 888,000 VND for good fortune.
• How much money should you give for a birthday gift?
  The amount depends on your relationship and budget. Close family: 1,200,000-2,400,000+ VND ($50-100+), friends: 600,000-1,200,000 VND ($25-50), acquaintances: 480,000-720,000 VND ($20-30).
• What are good alternatives to giving money as gifts?
  Personalized gifts, experience vouchers, custom-made items, or gift cards for specific interests make thoughtful alternatives.
• Should I give money to my boyfriend/girlfriend?
  Generally no. Romantic partners usually prefer personal, thoughtful gifts that show you know their interests rather than money, which can feel transactional.